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Moving forward In the aftermath of discovering your husband’s online world, it is perfectly understandable that you might feel disgusted and betrayed and to worry as to how much you can trust your husband.
You might benefit from going to counselling especially if you feel traumatised and need to the help of an impartial listener to process some of the feelings.
Real intimacy is created in everyday communication, in the nitty-gritty of sharing a life together and in the hard work of resolving conflicts and accepting the other person as different to you.
For a long time I wanted to communicate with people in general in a non-chat format.
To continue with this process you may wish to seek marriage counselling ( relationshipsireland.com, accord.ie).
There is a good chance of success for the two of you, if your husband accepts responsibility for what he has done and if the two of you are willing to work hard on improving your marriage.
At the heart of the problem of online “infidelity” is the fact that it is usually done in secret and without the partner’s knowledge – even with infrequent access this secrecy can reduce the intimacy between the couple and can be a first step on the road to bigger betrayals.
It was only when I was on vacation with limited access and resorted to exchanging long emails with a friend who was similarly inclined that I realized that what I wanted was penpals.